Santa for Students

"I'm a student - I bought a festive tree, some tinsel, and some tesco value bang crackers, cause I'm a maverick, ironikal jester, sending out confruntaeshionul, poshwhiteboyrappingtodrdre, 'LOL' vibes straight into the face of the spirit of Christmas, while secretly praying for a flabby wodge of wonga from granny. I'm completely independent now, ok, and totally not going home when term is over to sponge off mumz and dad for a month on a holiday that I totally don't deserve, seeing that I've spent my time mastering the art of auto fellatio, ghazzlahn pound beers and trying to explore alternative realities by smoking ganjar and staring inside my flatmates hairy arsehole...Instead of lyk, reading and wutnut"